i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
