I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
