just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
