is your mom at the bar?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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