happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
