so explain again why im purple
no
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
