u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is wine microwaveable?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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