ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
