Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
