woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
