No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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