1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
