he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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