I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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