have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
