Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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