I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
