Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
