well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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