I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
