He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This is my gift to your gina
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
