I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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