remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
