Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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