final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
