What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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