awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
