i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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