i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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