Cold hands, warm shart.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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