did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
