This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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