if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
