I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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