yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
third nipple confirmed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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