Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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