Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
