TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
