I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
