awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
