youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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