you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
