Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
