In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
