so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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