So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
