wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I cut my penus on the lid.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I want a musical about memes.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
