I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
