I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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