North Korea, Best Korea!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just pee around me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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